Sunday, November 29, 2009

"I feel like I'm loosing my way."


"hi ._."

"How have you been lately?"

"... uhh, do you want me to be honest?"


".. kind of depressed.."

"=o Why?"

"Do you want me to be honest, again?"

"Yes!! =["

"..*sigh*.. because I lost my best friend and something that usually makes me feel better isn't making me feel better anymore."

"Oh. :("

"I feel like I'm loosing my way."

"O_O ='("

"I'm sorry, I didn't have to drag you into this."


"Hello? ._."


--Your probably wondering what on earth that was. Well, it was just my more creative way of informing you how I'm doing right now. But really, it was just me venting. I mean, I should be able to have some fun with my depression.. Yes, I'm admitting it. I'm pretty depressed. I think I have been for a few months now.. on and off possibly. Things that I used to love to do, even thrive on doing, don't seem to have that same effect on me anymore. Like I said before, it feels like I'm loosing my way.

._. And obviously, this is not a good thing.

So, the question is.. can it be fixed? ..Can I be fixed?

I'm not expecting on living my entire life like this.. It's starting to really get in the way with important things...

I can't cope with it anymore.
Something must be done.

..And I know that it's up to me to do it.


Friday, November 20, 2009

Spurt of Extreme Busyness

Well! The spurt of extreme busyness is now over. It ended with a bang I think. :-) At the 10:00 showing of New Moon (The Twilight Sequel). Which was really good! :) And I'm glad it was good because we waited for grand total of FIVE HOURS in line. ._.

NOTE: It was raining almost the entire time and VERY cold.
& that's my umbrella tie in front of my face. :P

Me & Heather, who got me into Twilight in the 1st place! :)
NOTE: This was right before the big unveiling, we were SUPER EXCITED.

I know. You could call us freaks, and maybe that's what we are for doing that, but it actually wasn't so bad. Although, I did get out of waiting for a good hour and a half for a gig I had already agreed to doing. My friend Eryn Sharpe (who is an amazing singer) asked if I wanted to play at her school's fundraiser, and of course I said yes. It was a lot of fun. :] The response that night was REALLY good. People were so nice there! And their school is too.. lol, compared to my high school. =P

I didn't get home that night till about 1:00 AM, so needless to say I was BEAT. And I was not looking forward to getting up early the next morning to write a math test. SO I stayed home. The reason for me doing that would obviously be to sleep in because of loss of sleep, BUT that wasn't exactly the case. Luckily for me, I wasn't aloud to sleep in because it just happened to be the day when we were getting our furnace fixed. ._.

You know how loud getting your furnace fixed is?

IT'S LOUD. >-<

So, I've been kind of in a daze all day. Just kind of going through the motions.. on autopilot, or zombie mode. lol

The night before yesterday was the Kelly Clarkson concert, and that was awesome too! I went with my mum and my friend Carley, and really, she is such a good singer. My favorite song she performed was a cover she did called "Lies." It was a blues song, and it was a perfect choice for her voice. [That rhymed] She's also very down to earth, really natural and sweet on stage, and that was great to see. =)

Me and Carley, before she came on.

Her stage set up was really good. Lights were awesome.

Car, me and my mum after the show!

As for the day that started this whole fun, busy streak: My 16th Birthday! It was great. :] In the morning I slept in and went out for breakfast with my brother and my mum. Which was extra delicious I might add! ^-^

As you can see, I got extra EXTRA whipped cream on my pancakes. TEEHEE =D

After I got back from my half day of school we went out to dinner at our favorite restaurant (Little Thai Place), my mum made me a cupcake cake (Which was the cutest and the yummiest!) and I got great gifts from everyone. =) Like my mum got this big wooden letter K and got everyone to sign it. :] I love it. <3


So that sums up the events of the past three days. Thought I should catch up on my blogging in one giant post. :-)

After I post this entry I'm gonna type up my first set of lyrics for my 2nd blog I've created. It's specifically made just for my lyrics. I thought it would be a good idea to have them all in one place. If you want to check it out it's :)

And that's all for now folks!
I'm hoping to get a lot of things done this weekend, so I probably won't blog then either. But stay posted, I'll never stop blogging. :]

Signing off,

Monday, November 16, 2009

Last entry as a 15 year old. =P

Hey everyone!

Feels like it's been ages since I wrote last. And figuratively speaking it almost would have been if I hadn't taken the time to write up an entry today. Why? Because you see..

Tomorrow is my birthday! =o :D

Hooray! ^-^

It's most exciting to be turning 16. I had my birthday party this past Saturday, which was a hoot. =P lol Didn't get any pictures though, that's the only thing I'm disappointed about. =[ I mean, I did get some video's, which is good, but I totally blanked and skipped over the whole "gather around the cake kids and capture a memory" part. I mean, just that one, because I get that every year. And now there's a big blank hole in the place of where my 16th Birthday party picture should be.



It's just a little sad.

But hey! Tomorrow's my REAL birthday, and I'm gonna make it a point to take pictures. :) I mean, my friend Heather got me a photo album, I need something to start it off!'

Today was a rather good day, even though that's very contradicting to the way it started off. I was not happy this morning. It was darker than usual- which didn't help how tired I was, my throat was soar, and I was really detesting even going to school. It was one of those days when the alarm clock goes off and you just lye there for 10 minutes thinking of how amazing and easy it would be to just not get up and not go. Maybe one day, I'll actually do that.

But the reason I didn't today was because it's my birthday tomorrow, and it sounded like the perfect day to do whatever I want. I've been considering sleeping in, skipping the first two blocks, and possibly only showing up for lunch with my friends and Drama. Wouldn't that be GRAND?! ^-^

Answer: Yes, yes it would.

But there is a math quiz I'll be missing.. I guess I can make it up later..


Well, we'll see..

This week's gonna be crazy, hectic and AWESOME.

Tuesday- My 16th Birthday!
Wednesday- Invisalign app., Choir Rehearsal, Kelly Clarkson Concert
Thursday- Performance at a School dance, and then to end it all..



Don't judge me.

;) =P

So, if you didn't catch that already, I am STOKED for the events that are about to unfold. It's gonna be EPIC. =D

I'll blog about it. :-)
And take pictures! I won't forget ever again! ;)

Type you when I type you,


Oh! I did happen to get this one picture of my birthday cake :) ..

It's the best birthday cake to date I'd say. =) I love it, thanks mom. <3>
Signing off for real this time,


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I Will Remember

Today at school, we had the Remembrance Day Ceremony.

Before the assembly, I remember a lot of kids moaning and complaining about how boring it was going to be, and a lot of kids just ditched. But I wasn't one of those kids. To be honest, I wasn't thinking it was going to be especially intriguing, but I wasn't not going to go.

It started off like any other Remembrance Day Assembly I can remember. The singing of the National Anthem, a reading of "In Flanders Fields," a moment of silence. It wasn't until the special guest started speaking, when the mood of the gym drastically changed.

The special guest was a Holocaust survivor.
Both of his parents were murdered in concentration camps, along with many other members of his family. They were Jewish, as was he, and that's all it took for them to loose every human right that ever existed.

People say that he was lucky. To have survived it. And he was, but when you think about it... we are the lucky ones. We have no idea what it was like, to live in that time, to be in that situation. To be thrown into a life where we have no choice, no freedom, no safety.

Even though I can understand what happened then, and what happened to that man, I can never truly fathom how that would feel. How it would feel for that to be my reality.

It's hard to believe something like that actually took place. It's always been told to us, or read to us- like a story. But today, that man made it real.

A lot of emotions ran high in that room, including mine.

Now I am sure,

I will remember.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Note: Always make room for good times. ;)


Hi ya'll!

I'm quite happy right now. Even though some things are still not right in my books, at this very moment, I am quite content. :]

I don't know what it is... It could be that it's the beginning of a new month, so I feel refreshed. Or it could be that I had a good day today. Whatever it is, I like it, so I'm just gonna go with it. :)

Exciting things are coming up this month and the next. This month, in November, I have my 16th Birthday on the 17th (WOOT WOOT =]), the Kelly Clarkson concert with my mum and my friend Carley, a performance at a school dance/silent auction and the NEW MOON MOVIE NIGHT SHOWING. (AAAAAAHHHH!)

There's so much awesomeness happening this month I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE IT. =P

And THEN, to keep going on a roll, in December I'm playing at the Bay Center multiple times for the Spirit Of Giving. Which is so fun because I love the atmosphere the mall has in December. All the lights and decorations, people shopping for others, and not just themselves. It's so wonderful! :) I LOVE Christmas time. =]]

Also that month, my cousins are coming to visit for Christmas, and that makes me WAY TO FREAKING HAPPY. :) It'll be the first Christmas (in a long time anyway) with everyone together. And for that, I am so excited.

Sure the weather's cold and dark but everything else is the opposite. Maybe that's why the Holidays are at this time of year. Trying to compensate for the lack of sun and warmth. lol Who knows!

Hm, I guess that's why I'm so happy. =P
There's so many things to be happy about! So many things to look forward to.


As for now, I'm working on building my set list for these gig's coming up, continuing on my journey of recording my first album, and keeping up with school.

When I think about it, those are the 3 most important things to be focusing on right now. Well, the 3 most important things to be working on. Along with those things, there's life. That's needing to make room for friends and family (especially during Christmas) and the good times! :]

Note: Always make room for good times. ;)

And I guess I'll leave it at that!
I think that's a good note to end it on. =)


*P.S. - To see the dates and info for the gig's I've mentioned in this blog, click HERE.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Just forget the world

If I lay here,

If I just lay here,

Would you lie with me and
just forget the world?