Saturday, April 30, 2011

In limbo

Today has been... I don't even know if I can decide on a word to describe it.

It's been... eye-opening, sad, emotional, sunny (yeah, I'll throw that in there to lighten things up) and... that's all I can come up with right now.

I was going to clean my room, like I usually do every weekend. I was going to finish some school work, again like normal. I was going to play some music, figure out a set list for my school's upcoming Indie Night. Instead of doing these things, I went outside. I went outside and sat there. I thought about things. I thought about my life: how it used to be and how it is now. There are so many things in my life right now that I am thankful for, but I do have this overwhelming feeling of loss, that today, got the better of me.

I didn't quite realize how upset I still am about losing someone who meant- still means- so much to me until today.

Until today I simply focused on other parts of my life. I worked on my music. I worked on other friendships with other friends. I kept myself busy with school. Today though, I let myself think about it again. This was both a good idea and a bad idea.

I caught myself off guard. I didn't even know that was possible.

Something must be done. I must do something about it. I cannot deny that there is something missing in my life. Something that was once there. I've written several songs about it. It keeps coming back. There's this empty void. It's really bothering me.

Now that I know what the problem is, I must face the hardest part and that is figuring out how to fix it. Or even begin fixing it. Maybe I'm making it seem harder than it really is... It's been so long now though...

I apologize for being extremely vague, but this is about someone. I can't disclose information like that publicly. It's not fair.

I was reading old blog entries, very old blog entries, entries I posted over a year ago- even two years ago and venting my feelings on situations like this (and even particularly this very situation) is a trend. It really helps me though. Even right now I feel a bit better. It's nice to be able to get my thoughts out.

Like I've said before, blogging really does help me. It's important that I keep doing it. As you may know already, I have been writing in a journal every day since my 17th birthday this year, which has also been great, but there's something about blogging. I suppose it has to do with being published for anyone to see, the possibility that my thoughts and feelings could help someone else out as well. I've written about the blogging community and how amazing I think it is, and I still stand by that. It's amazing how the simple act of writing what you think and sharing it with like-minded people can have such a positive effect. I find it refreshing. I love it.

So, to recap, I feel like I'm in limbo. You know, that weird abandoned place you get banished to for years when you die in a dream within a dream within a dream.



I'm working on getting out. Wish me luck.

Singing off,


Tuesday, April 12, 2011



I forgot to announce last time I posted that it was my 200th blog post!


That's a lot, right? That just goes to show how much I have been blogging over the past few years.

So, I'll celebrate now.



I do feel accomplished.

You may have noticed that as of late I haven't been writing as frequently as I have in the past. This time it does have to do with my routine of writing in a journal everyday. Sadly, sometimes that takes over and comes before blogging. But, I've been going strong with it. Lately, I've been writing several pages a day.

._. I know. Apparently I have a lot to say. But privately. SHHH.


I apologize for the sporadic-ness of this entry. I just haven't been in the blog posting zone lately. I have, however, been in... other zones. Journal writing, rug buying (that's correct, rug as in for my bedroom floor), movie with friends watching, gigging, jamming, recording, playing with harmonizing (I'm getting slightly better at it), being outside with friends, eating.

I like food. Have I mentioned that?

Life is full of lovely things. I'm enjoying what it has to offer while I can.


I'll check in soon.

PEACE & LOVE, for real.


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Not Giving In - official grad ceremony song lyrics :)

Auditioned my grad ceremony song today.

We got it. :]

"We" as in myself (vocal and guitar), Nayala (piano), and Dan (bass).

It's exciting. It's also nerve-racking, but worth it.

Here are the final lyrics as they will be presented at the ceremony on that little booklet/brochure thing each person gets.

Not Giving In by Karly Summers Moskal

If there was only one way

then the world would be a smaller place

I can decide my own fate

Cause nothing is meant to be, nothing’s safe

Don’t feel sorry for me

for not making up my mind

I’ll be just fine

I’ll decide when the time is right

I’ll live my life

I won’t regret not choosing what’s right in your mind

And if the path is already paved

What’s the point in passion? What’s the point in pain?

What if I don’t want to fit in?

Isn’t there beauty in not giving in?

I thought we could be whoever we wanted to be

Easy to say, not easy to see

I’ll be just fine

I’ll decide when the time is right

I’ll live my life

I won’t regret not choosing what’s right in your mind

The most logical thing to me

is not pushing it out of reach

I’ll be just fine

I’ll decide when the time is right

I’ll live my life

I won’t regret not choosing what’s right...

We’ll be just fine

We’ll decide when the time is right

We’ll live our lives

We won’t regret not choosing what’s right in their minds

We’ll choose what’s right

If there was only one way

then the world would be a smaller place

I'm planning on recording it too. So even if you're not there, you can still hear it/have it.

I know it's two months in advance, but WISH ME LUCK! :P