Well. I don't have to decide anymore.
Someone decided for me.
Now, I can just be sad instead.
Another family bought her. Out of the five puppies that were there, they liked the same one we did. Even though my mom says they were a nice family, I'm still extremely sad about it. I didn't even get to see her again. We were planning to this weekend together. My mom went this morning to see her, but at that exact same time frame another lady did as well.
So long story short: she's gone.
I was actually a bit surprised to react the way that I did. I was legitimately very sad. We've been discussing her all week and it seemed like such a reality. Like we were most likely going to end up with this new addition to our lives. I was so excited about, and as soon as I heard someone else was interested in her, I knew she was gone.
Now that I know were not getting her, the silver linings seem to be irrelevant. Now I have lots of money to spend on other things, now I'll have more time for other things...
Right now; at this moment, all of that seems a million times more lame. I don't even know what to do with myself now because I thought I'd be training her and walking her and just... enjoying something that wasn't so materialistic.
This felt like something that could broaden my horizons as a person. Enrich my life and bring us joy. The alternative to that is "Well...now I can buy an iPhone."
It just sucks.
I'm really, quite frankly just extremely let down.
I never should have dangled that in front of my own face.
I set myself up for disappointment.