I set myself up.

Well. I don't have to decide anymore.

Someone decided for me.

Now, I can just be sad instead.

=[

Another family bought her. Out of the five puppies that were there, they liked the same one we did. Even though my mom says they were a nice family, I'm still extremely sad about it. I didn't even get to see her again. We were planning to this weekend together. My mom went this morning to see her, but at that exact same time frame another lady did as well.

So long story short: she's gone.

I was actually a bit surprised to react the way that I did. I was legitimately very sad. We've been discussing her all week and it seemed like such a reality. Like we were most likely going to end up with this new addition to our lives. I was so excited about, and as soon as I heard someone else was interested in her, I knew she was gone.

Now that I know were not getting her, the silver linings seem to be irrelevant. Now I have lots of money to spend on other things, now I'll have more time for other things...

Right now; at this moment, all of that seems a million times more lame. I don't even know what to do with myself now because I thought I'd be training her and walking her and just... enjoying something that wasn't so materialistic.

This felt like something that could broaden my horizons as a person. Enrich my life and bring us joy. The alternative to that is "Well...now I can buy an iPhone."

._.

It just sucks.

I'm really, quite frankly just extremely let down.

I never should have dangled that in front of my own face.

I set myself up for disappointment.

Just, *sigh* one of those days.. :(

I'm not even going to try and hide my sadness today.

Today, is just one of those days.

I suppose, everyone is destined to have a few in their lifetime.

My time, has come.

But, I wouldn't really call it a bad day, where a bunch of freak things happen, like a car drives by and sprays water and mud all over you before .. a date, or something important. No, I'd call it a day where two bad things happened.

1. A falling out with a friend.

2. A complete mess-up by me, in the video shoot. So, the new Twilight song might be delayed.

Now, for the 2nd point, I can't decide if I'm just being too picky, but I KNOW that the last line, I didn't sing it the strongest. It's very weak and shaky, not a good way to end a strong song. So, my dad tried to fix it by, literally, cutting that part out. It's now.. too bad, but I don't think I like it either. And I know that I can sing it, I just didn't get a good take, I was rushing it and it didn't turn out good.

So, that's one of those.. music video's? YouTube video's.

Sometimes you don't everything right the first time.

We might reshoot.

We'll see..

*sigh*

I felt (still do to a degree) really crappy about it.

I'm such a perfectionist, and I'm obsessive compulsive. I actually watched an episode of Dr. Phil today, and ACTUALLY wrote down the tips for Managing Stress and Anxiety.

O_O yeah.

I'm kind of a freak.

The first point, well, since this isn't a real diary, it's a blog, and I do have a collection of 1000 views, I'll keep the person's name under wraps.

And I won't go into much detail of the situation. But, I'm just really upset and mad about it. I'm having this big fight with them, and uuggh, it's just getting out of hand.

I don't know if it'll ever be resolved. Because I still hold my side of the fight.

Everything I said was true. Hard, but very true.

I don't think they'll ever see that.

I've had a lot of things on my mind today, I didn't get much done, but I did clean our entire kitchen just to try and take my mind off of it. And watching Dr. Phil did help, I actually enjoy that show. I learn things. :P Things that I can use.

Tonight, I'm going to a movie with my mother. "Julie & Julia."

A nice, light hearted film supplied with popcorn, chocolate, and company should do me some good.

*sigh*

Just.. one of those days. lol

Singing off,

Karly.